By Iris Pase / 9.9.2017

Famous all over the world, Couchsurfing is a hospitality service and social networking website which counts more than 14 million members, whose number grows daily. As its name suggests, the platform gives its members the chance to host or be a guest in someone’s home – probably on someone’s couch, and interact directly with locals. Moreover, for those who might not feel ready yet to share accommodation with a stranger, it’s possible to just meet people or join events organised by the local CS community.

The underlying philosophy of the project promotes cultural exchange by making the most out of the oldest truth of them all: ”Man is by nature a social animal.” In fact, there’s no better way to explore and get to know a new place than by meeting its locals, by feeling comfortable in sharing experiences and ideas in a new environment, and thus creating a bond between individuals trying to understand different mindsets.

Photo: flickr (ephidryn)

But how was Couchsurfing born?

Back in 1999, a young computer programmer, Casey Fenton, aged 25, booked a cheap flight to Iceland, but had no place to stay. Refusing to rely on ordinary accommodation, he tried his fortune and emailed over 1500 Icelandic students in Reykjavik asking them if they would host him on one of their couches. Lucky man, he got many answers and, to his delight, those students were not just offering him a couch, but the chance to be shown around and see their Reykjavik. Fenton’s stay was so amazing, that he chose “couchsurfing” as his own new way of travelling.

A few years later he managed to transpose his experience both into a non-profit organisation and a website, thus creating one of the most famous examples of the sharing economy. However, CS’ non-profit status prevented the platform from having the resources to keep up with the flood of new users, which resulted in several technical problems.

Unable to sustain itself without donations, Couchsurfing accepted $7.6 million from venture capitalist Benchmark Capital and Omidyar Network, and became – as said by Fenton himself – a B Corporation, that is an enterprise which uses the power of business to create public benefit. One year later, the company received an additional $15 million in funding which allowed the now for-profit organisation to innovate and add new services; however even if financial problems were resolved, new issues were about to arise.

Couchsurfing or… Sexsurfing? Is this the end of “innocent couchsurfers”?

“We did everything adults would do. What went wrong?”
― William Golding, Lord of the Flies

Since its transformation into a for-profit organization, the constant enlargement of the community has apparently signaled the end of Couchsurfing’s innocence: several new users don’t comply with its philosophy of sharing, they rather follow a “do ut des” attitude, often expecting sex in return for accommodation.

Just try typing “couchsurfing” on Google or reading a few travel blog posts about it and you’ll notice how the platform has been evolving into a dating website. I’m not talking about casual sex between a guest and their host, I’m far from criticising what would be a consensual act between two grown adults. The issue I’m addressing is the fact that, as put by travel blogger Agnes Walewinder, “people use this portal to hunt girls for free sex and vice versa”. Couchsurfing was meant to be a safe port for alternative travellers but it’s switching to Sexsurfing, making travellers, especially female backpackers, afraid to use it for fear of being sexually harassed, raped or even murdered.

If this wasn’t enough, the place is now populated with so-called pick-up artists, people (typically men but not exclusively) practised at attracting or habitually pursuing sexual partners: and what better way of perpetuating women’s objectification and belittlement?

Take, for instance, John Maverick’s articles “How to seduce naughty Couchsurfing girls” and “8 signs of a naughty Couchsurfing girl.” The author maintains to have joined CS to “bang chicks” and shares his “expertise” to help men who struggle to get laid. Obviously, rather than suggesting a healthy and respectful approach to the other sex, Maverick bases his techniques on submission and deception, making women look like prey to be chased by taking advantage of their apparent promiscuity and frivolousness. Both articles represent the epitome of sociopathy, male chauvinism, and misogyny, not to mention a sort of bland racism, I quote: ”While some nationalities are easier than others, there was something about these countries (i.e. France, Finland and Poland) manufacturing girls that are almost always guaranteed lays.”

Unfortunately, this is not an isolated case: Business Insider defined CS as “the greatest hook-up app ever devised,” while hook-up guides are being posted ever more frequently, along with the foundation of websites like Couchbangs, a repertoire of sex encounters compiled by CS hosts who managed to get their guest – be it male or female, into bed.

Backpackers. Photo: flickr (Garry Knight)

Is this the end of Couchsurfing?

Is it possible to use it safely or should we abandon it for an alternative platform like HospitalityClub, Trustroots, or Be Welcome?

CS has certainly become more dangerous than before, but its community is still populated by plenty of good and genuine people who love travelling; therefore, I would never advise you to abandon the community. In addition, if all the respectable members leave, the transition into a dating website will be complete and we cannot allow it to happen. Couchsurfing has been a dream come true for thousands of travellers and it still can be, if we encourage people to use it for its original purpose.

It is therefore crucial for us to understand beforehand if a host can be trusted. We must inform ourselves both about our destination and possible second options for accommodation; at the same time, it might be useful to keep in mind which characteristics are common among pick-up artists and possible sexual attackers. To give you a little insight on the matter, today we’re talking with Hannah, an experienced couchsurfer passionate about seeking out adventure, who will share her good and bad experiences and give us a few tips to stay safe.

Meeting Halfway: Hi Hannah, welcome, and thank you for your time. Let’s start from the very beginning. How did you discover Couchsurfing?

Hannah: Hey there! Well, I’ve been traveling abroad on my own since I was 18, and I quickly learned the importance of budgeting when backpacking. I also learned how special a place becomes when you see it with a local. I can’t remember who exactly told me about Couchsurfing, but I really wanted to go to India and stay with a local, so I signed up and the rest was history!

MH: So cool! You’ve been very brave travelling on your own to a place like India, mainly because it is generally perceived as a dangerous country for solo female travellers. Speaking of which, in your CS experience did you face any difficulties because of your gender, maybe creepy situations or individuals?

H: I had a couple instances where I knew the guy expected sex. While traveling in Scotland, one guy really made me feel unsafe. He seemed normal at the coffee shop we met at, then he took me to his apartment in the middle of nowhere and was being very strange. First I noticed his giant shrine of Margaret Thatcher. He said he would cook me pasta and he literally just put raw uncooked spaghetti in the microwave with tomato sauce on it. He told me he was a ghost and asked if I wanted to be a ghost. He told me many couchsurfers end up hooking up, when I said I wasn’t interested he tried to make me feel dumb for accusing him of hitting on me. He asked me if I wanted tea and he shut the kitchen door while he made it, so I didn’t drink any. I didn’t sleep at all and left as soon as the sun came up and all he said was “write me a good review.”

MH: It’s absolutely crazy, and the fear you must have felt! The majority of abused or threatened women do not report their host in order to avoid getting a bad review on CS. What did you do? Did you report him or write a bad review?

Hannah in Scottland. Photo: Private

H: I hadn’t written him a review in 2 days (busy hitchhiking and exploring, hadn’t had a moment to sit down and do it) and he wrote a fake, vicious review about how I used HIM. I reported him to CS and told them what he did and I think his page got deleted? Or maybe he deleted it because it was gone. Months later I get a message from a guy on CS with the same last name as me (!!) – but no photos or reviews – calling me a spoiled ugly bitch. I told him to get a life and blocked him, never heard from him again.

MH: Unfortunately you’re not the only one who’s gotten a bad review by her own “sexual attacker.” You’ve been brave to report it, so let’s hope he won’t harass other people. Which criteria do you use to choose your hosts now, especially after those unfortunate encounters?

H: I’m pretty picky. They’ve got to have a lot of reviews. Like, 30+. And I read them all. And if they are all reviews from girls that is a red flag and I don’t message them. Read their profile fully because I can smell a bullshitter easily with that. Message them with more than just a “can you host me?” and I always meet them in a busy public place first. Maybe spend a night in a hostel first and if you trust them on your meeting, you can crash with them the next night or just make a new friend!

MH: A lot of girls prefer staying with girls only, do you agree? Or do you think this would mean wasting the true CS experience?

H: Personally no. I’ve stayed with a few girls and it was awesome but I’m glad I took the risk with guys cause I made some amazing, platonic friendships. I’ve never hooked up with a host or felt like I had to (the Scottish guy creeped me out but I honestly felt that if he touched me or said anything threatening I could easily escape. It was my choice to wait until the morning). However I cannot dictate someone else’s comfort level, so if a girl feels better only couchsurfing with other girls I don’t think the experience will be ruined or wasted at all.

MH: You do seem to love CS and the chances it offers, why, in your opinion, should anyone couchsurf at least once in their lives?

H: For me, the best part about couchsurfing is seeing a place through the eyes of a local. They’ll tell you stories about growing up in the certain city/country, they can give you a history lesson, or just tell you the truth of what it’s like to live in the place you are visiting. And knowing the secret tips for the best places to eat or go out is a plus as well! Also, for me, a solo female traveler, I actually feel safer couchsurfing than staying at a hostel because you are being guided by someone who knows the streets, the customs, and the people. Sometimes if you’re bumbling around like a lost tourist you can be targeted by pickpockets or feel confused and helpless, especially if there’s a language barrier. Couchsurfing can make a foreign place feel like home.

MH: After all the former creepy situations we’ve finally come to the bright side of CS, so why don’t we end our conversation with your best CS experience so far?

H: It’s hard to pick the best, I’ve had so many great ones but there are two really memorable ones. The first was in Sarajevo, while the second was in Gozo with a 50-something year old gay man. He lived by himself in this amazing, bungalow-style house that was eclectic with various knick knacks, a giant library, recycled water, ivy growing inside and outside, and a rooftop balcony. When I stayed with him he was hosting six people total, with bunk beds and pull out couches. This guy is incredible really, he cooks three enormous, warm, homemade meals everyday. For free! He always facilitated deep conversations about history, politics, religion, or life and the conversations we had around the dinner table were inspiring. He never asked for anything in return. Just incredible. I also have to thank him cause I made a life-long friend with another couchsurfer who stayed with him while I did, and we are still in contact to this day.

Author

Iris Pase (Italy)

Studies: History and Philosophy

Speaks: Italian, English

Europe is… meeting another European and feeling a common history, culture and mindset.

Blog: The Venetian Rover

Proofreader

Sarah Robinson (United Kingdom)

Studies: French and German Language and Literature

Languages: French, German, English

Europe is… complex and invaluable.

Der Beitrag Has Couchsurfing become a bohemian Tinder? erschien zuerst auf MH English.

Apart from in the Netherlands, in Europe same-sex marriage has so far been made equal to the marriage between a man and a woman in Belgium (2003), Spain (2005), Norway (2009), Sweden (2009), Portugal (2010), Iceland (2010), Denmark (2012), France (2013), the UK (not including Northern Ireland) (2014), Ireland (2015), Luxembourg (2015) and Finland (2017). That’s only 13 out of the 49 states which are geographically part of Europe, and not even half of the European Union.

The fight for equal rights in Europe is therefore far from over. In a very personal text the slam poetry artist Veronika Rieger writes about the feeling of one’s own love being treated as second-class, and takes a look at the hypocrisy of the arguments people bring up again and again.

Equal, the same, all the same

A guest contribution by Veronika Rieger / 28.6.2017

 
An excerpt: Basic Law for the Federal Republic of Germany
Art 3
(1) All persons are equal before the law.

I wake up. Nocturnal shadows, turn to the left, girlfriend asleep. Turn to the right, mobile phone – on: headline, first anniversary of the shooting in the Pulse gay club in Orlando. 49 people are still dead. The world is still turning, I turn onto my back.

Alarm clock is beeping, girlfriend opens her eyes, one eye-opening later the smell of coffee, sentences are slowly getting longer. Subway stations are passing by every minute, soles are stomping the daily grind in high and hollow uni hallways.

Hours of daily grind later, emptying the letter box. Finding the, seriously, fifth wedding invitation for the summer, first get another coffee, open the envelope:

Skim through the over-the-top ornate writing, damn, you really have to send back a reply card, possible answers:

               1 I’ll come with pleasure

               2 I’ll come with my boyfriend

I can’t deal with option 2 – coffee mugs later way too hyper. Go outside. Call girlfriend, go shopping. On the 983m long walk to the subway, running the gauntlet around glances. Have no smart comeback to those fifteen-year-old idiots’ “Fucking lesbos”. Subway windows again. In the city centre running the gauntlet around glances and canvassing.

I really am politically interested, but never before have I had so bloody little desire to vote. I mean, really, none. Since every party tells me that they are oh so liberal and in favour of it, but no party has made a move in years to really change something, I find parties about as trustworthy as last year’s killer clowns in Westpark.

This stupid wedding invitation still in my handbag.

Right-wing nationalist idiots are still standing in Marienplatz, but apparently they are getting younger. The one in the middle could be the age of my brother. Thinking of my brother, who can’t keep in touch, because he can’t cope with this, because my love is so overwhelming, he says he is not making demands, but what would the people think.

In the subway, being unsolicitedly, uninvitedly prattled at by the man on the opposite bench: Do you two have kids? Are you married?

Reaching into the handbag, cutting myself on the goddamn wedding invitation. Lifeblood on white handmade paper.

The man across from you is still pestering you, too timid to say something, cling onto my hand, I think I want to marry you some day. Want to be able to have your hand in mine, with these bloody damn expensive rings on it, and I want to call you wife and really mean it. I mean, not now, not tomorrow, not this year, but I just want to have the possibility, I mean, some day.

Snapping at this man’s face, with utmost courtesy, that these are very personal questions and that I won’t be answering them. The man keeps talking, says something about no marriage for such people, I am losing my patience.

I don’t want to be told anymore.

The next one to tell me, that my love, or a marriage between same-sex couples, is not natural, can gladly freshen up their biology knowledge about the sex-life of dolphins, monkeys, lions, giraffes, hundreds of birds, hyenas, sheep, creepy-crawlies and what not, but not with me. And incidentally, marriage is nothing natural by the way, but an institution introduced by the state, and therefore about as natural and biological as plastic waste.

And whoever tells me that marriage must be reserved for man and woman, can please explain, if and how the more than ten other biologically recognised combinations of X and Y chromosomes are allowed to tie the knot, and why in particular man and woman, so Mr. XY and Ms. XX should have this privilege compared to all the other bodily genders.

If we are in turn to simply reduce it to procreation, I demand the definitive revocation of the marital status and all official privileges for childless heterosexual couples, which would be the only logical consequence.

If you are going to tell me now that a marriage between two people who love each other and are old enough to testify to that before the state is against God’s will, then you haven’t fully understood the concept of secularisation.

But even for the christian hardliners among the parties I still have something to say:

If you say, that my love is against God’s will, then you are in possession of God’s wisdom. Since only God can be in possession of this wisdom and pass judgement upon mankind, you are claiming to be God yourself, and this blasphemous and thick even the stupid “Christian Democrats” cannot be. But whoever is practicing such a contemptuous asylum policy, has already forfeited their right to Christ’s name.

There are no arguments against marriage of same-sex couples that in this day and age can still have any meaning. But there is one reason for being against it: if you are a homophobic asshole.

I drop all of this right onto the feet of the man in the subway, it falls out of the handbag, big mouth, brain and memory, in between there are flyers by parties that promise the introduction of the “marriage for everyone” before the elections, and the white handmade paper with the little blood stain, that even looks a little like a small heart.

General Act on Equal Treatment (AGG)

§ 1 Purpose of this Act
The purpose of this Act is to prevent or to stop discrimination on the grounds of race or ethnic origin, gender, religion or belief, disability, age or sexual orientation.

I am staring at the ceiling above my bed. Turn to the left, girlfriend is sleeping while the TV series is still running. Turn to the right, mobile phone – on: headline: thirty-year-old gay man brutally beaten up in Munich. Next headline: the gay traffic-light men will be lit up again for Gay Pride. My nerves regarding this topic are still dead. The world is still turning, I turn onto my back.

All persons are equal in the eyes of God, they said.

All persons are equal before the law, they said.

It seems, as if 5.6 million Germans are still a little bit less equal than others.

Author

Veronika Rieger (Germany)

Veronika Rieger is a slam poetry artist, live on stages since the beginning of 2016. When she is not on stage, she studies Protestant theology to become a pastor.

Proofreader

Sarah Robinson (United Kingdom)

Studies: French and German Language and Literature

Languages: French, German, English

Europe is… complex and invaluable.

Der Beitrag Equal, the same, all the same erschien zuerst auf MH English.

By Anja Meunier / 16.9.2015

Yet a single voice can rectify little in the face of your inner contradictions. You need millions to rebuild your self-confidence. You have so many friends, accept the help offered to you! Show your sceptics what you’re capable of, how strong you are. I have faith that you’ll manage it, Europe, you will always be able to count on me.

Author

Anja Meunier (Germany)

Studies: Mathematics and Economics

Languages: German, English, Spanish

Europe has… beautiful countries, interesting people, a great lifestyle. And needs to stay together.

500px: Anja Meunier

Proofreader

Sarah Robinson

Studies: French and German Language and Literature

Languages: French, German, English

Europe is… complex and invaluable.

Der Beitrag Europe and I – a love letter erschien zuerst auf MH English.

Loving more than one person – not in itself problematic. It works in families, and it’s also possible to have more than one friend. But as soon as it’s a question of relationships, many people become sceptical. Can the people in question be ‘multiple’ in this context too? Those who live polyamorously don’t see it as a problem.

The word polyamory stems from the Greek word for ‘many’ (poly) and the Latin word for ‘love’ (amor) – Wikipedia can tell you that. But it doesn’t say anything about the really interesting part: how does it feel to have several partners? When your own boyfriend sleeps with other women? Why would people do this?

The underlying concept, the possibility of ‘many loves’, is inherent in the word itself. But the way in which such an idea works on practice depends on each individual person – so let’s hear from them directly.

Photo: Private

“Wanting to control and possess other people is unfair and selfish”

Daniela (name changed), 31, from Hamburg

This is my first polyamorous relationship. I’d never heard of the idea of non-monogamous relationships (except for in a few religious contexts) until a friend, who was interested in a relationship with me, told me about how he had his relationships. I was fascinated and thought, “Why not?”. That “why not?” at some point turned into a “Hey, this actually works!”. I am currently a ‘leaf’ in the context of existing poly relationships. That means my partner has many partners.

I myself have only one relationship and have only ever had one partner in the past, but I am open-minded about it. I don’t order the people in my life according to any kind of a ranking, they are all unique and important in their own way. I think that I would also differentiate between my various relationships, if I were to have more than one of them, just as people do. At the very most for practical reasons it could be that someone was given preferential treatment, for example in the case of illness or in terms of bringing up children.

During my experiences with polyamory I was confronted with the idea that each and every single one counts. I understood that demanding to possess someone else, or to control the behaviour and affections of the other, is extremely unfair and selfish. Polyamory makes people in a relationship communicate well with each other on numerous different levels.

Potential problems stemming from jealousy don’t exist exclusively in polyamory – it’s an issue that comes up in other contexts too, like career, friendship, or monogamy. It has its roots in a feeling of insecurity, feeling that you are ‘being replaced’ or ‘not good enough’. In addition, although good communication is essential in order to avoid these feelings of insecurity, on top of that you also need a certain self reliance in order to thrive in polyamorous relationships. I myself sometimes feel jealous, but then I try to understand where these feelings come from, and I talk about them with my partner.

In the past I’ve often met with very negative reactions regarding my kind of relationship. People make assumptions – they think I’m not able to commit to a ‘real’ relationship, that my relationships are ‘unnatural’, or that I’m just trying to be ‘rebellious’. Most of my friendship group and my family don’t know that I’m in a polyamorous relationship, and I still have misgivings when it comes to telling people who aren’t part of the ‘poly community’ about what my relationships are like.

But in principle the decision to live a poly life isn’t a question of lifestyle. Instead it’s a question of morals: I don’t want to ‘possess’ anyone, and I don’t believe that my partner belongs to me. In the end, I want my partner to do what he/she enjoys, and if that means having other partners, then that’s OK.

“It’s just much more logical: everyone involved lives a more fulfilled life”

Matthias, 30, from Hamburg

Photo: Private

It must have been about ten years ago: I stumbled across an article or a blog post that described what I had been doing for a long time, and called it ‘polyamory’. I just thought, “Oh, so that’s what it’s called”.

I lived a poly life almost from the very beginning, I just didn’t know that was what it was called. I’ve just never understood why you should only be allowed to only love one person in the context of a relationship, but you can still, for example, ‘love’ several family members, or have as many friends as you please.  I was once in a relationship and got to know another great woman, who was also very open-minded, and had the same views on relationships as we did – and so we gave it a go.

For me, different relationships are different most of all in that they are with different people. That sounds mundane, but every human being is unique, and through being with different people I learn a lot about myself, about them, and other interesting things. I just share many lives, and I often have great experiences that I would never have had on my own. Some relationships come about because of outside circumstances – being in the same city, living together, etc – while others only last a short time. But I wouldn’t say that some are more important to me than others.

Photo: Private

To me, polyamory seemed, and still seems, just so much more logical than other relationship models. You avoid the whole jealousy thing, and claiming ownership, and everyone involved lives a more fulfilled life, because you can have fun with other people, because no single person can fulfil all your desires, or even simply because it makes it more likely that one of your partners will be available when you are.

I find jealousy pointless and selfish, and I’ve never really understood it. Other people have different personalities, and I can’t demand that they should be there for me. Apart from that, I don’t define myself by what others feel for me. I’m glad to have time to spend with great people, and I want them to be as happy as they can. If at the moment it’s better for them with other people, that’s really not a problem at all.

What I find most challenging is time and distance: if you work full time, you have less free time and you can’t use it as flexibly. If not all your partners live in the same city, meeting up becomes a big logistical problem because of the distance. That can be frustrating, though with today’s technology, communication does become a bit easier.

When other people find out that I lead a poly lifestyle, most of them react positively and want to find out more about it. Though I have it much easier as a white, mostly heterosexual man, because having lots of simultaneous relationships is generally seen largely positively – sadly it’s much more difficult for women. The most negative reactions I’ve had are more along the lines of “Well that wouldn’t be for me”. But I’m very open about it, so maybe people who find it completely weird might just stay away.

“It’s as if you’ve been given a few extra senses”

Johannes, 35, from Berlin

Photo: Private

When I first heard about polyamory, I found it difficult to imagine it being for me. Then I got to know a woman who told me the first time she met me that she lived the poly lifestyle. I found it very confusing: how can you be with multiple people at the same time? I still remember how she told me about one of her girlfriends who had got upset about an ex-boyfriend they both had in common, and who had said that poly can sometimes be a bit crap. My acquaintance had told her: “Poly isn’t the problem. He’s the problem.” I understood then that poly relationships weren’t the simplest type of relationship. They are complex networks of relationships, and everyone involved has to be responsible and truthful within them.

Personally, back then I didn’t want anything to do with it. Poly always seemed to me to smack of ‘not wanting commitment’. But then something happened to change my mind: I met a woman, and straight away thought she was great. But I noticed that she was with someone. “Oh well”, I thought, “she’s taken” – until she began very obviously to flirt with me. A few days later, we had our first date. She told me very early on, that she lived poly. And it was obvious to me that she wouldn’t want a monogamous relationship. So I decided to give it a go.

It was clear to me that apart from anything else I was doing it because I felt so strongly attracted to this woman. There was just no other option. But at the same time I was curious. The relationship sadly lasted only just less than a year, but despite that it was a really intense time, and I learnt a lot about myself.

In the end, different relationships are like friendships: even when I let some go a bit because of a crazy schedule, or because we live far apart, each one is important to me, because each one is unique. It’s was the same with my poly experiences, except just with sex and a lot more intimacy. At the same time the levels became more distinct: sex isn’t just sex and intimacy isn’t just intimacy. With each of these women it was physically and emotionally different.

For me, the thing that’s different about polyamory is the basic principle of openness: I’m unconstrained and at the same time tied down. It’s like being given a couple of extra senses that allow me to get to know people in a whole new way. At the same time, this openness has changed my view of women: now when I find a woman attractive, I feel it as an expression of appreciation and wonder. Not that it’s unpleasant – the opposite! And I feel like it shows.

It’s true that jealousy is a problem. But you can solve it. For me, it was the first big conflict that I had to deal with: my girlfriend had arranged to meet another partner, and I knew that they would sleep together. I was mad with jealousy! Then I asked myself why it bothered me so much. Did I really need to be jealous? Was that something that I wanted to feel? Really, it’s just an extreme form of envy. Do I need to be envious? Then it became clear to me that jealousy is actually much more about personal insecurity. Then I saw my girlfriend with her other partner, and it looked very loving. My envy disappeared, and instead I was happy for her.

I also think that a lot of people imagine poly-relationships to be more complicated than they really are. Yes, it can get complicated, and it can really hurt. But that’s the case in any relationship where you truly love another person. Having said that, I’m actually not so certain if I really am poly. There are aspects that I wouldn’t like to live without any more. However, despite that, I have a longing for one partner who I can spend more time with than the others. But that’s the great thing about poly-relationships: that you really can’t define a lot of it. So I’ll just let it come to me, and see how it feels.

[crp]

Author

Katharin Tai (Germany/France)

Studies / Works: Euro-Asia Relations/International Law

Speaks: German, English, French, Chinese, Japanese, Swedish.

Europe is… a fascinating place waiting to be explored.

Blog: www.towardssomewhere.wordpress.com

Twitter: @Whitey_chan

Translation

Abigail Rees (England)

Studies: French & Linguistics

Speaks: English, French, German

Europe is… finding puns in different languages.

Proofreader

Evelyn Flynn (Ireland)

Studies: German and Portuguese

Speaks: English, German, Portuguese. Some Irish, Spanish and French!

Europe is… indescribable

Der Beitrag Polyamory – Three Views erschien zuerst auf MH English.

Russia and Spain are located on completely opposite sides of Europe: north to south, east to west.  Russia shares a border with Asia, and Spain with Africa.  An enormous geographic separation that has not prevented a flowing relationship between the two countries.

However, despite these things in common, between these two states one can find big differences in the socio-politics, which the Pew Research Centre brought out into the open with a simple question.  “Should society accept homosexuality?”.  88% of Spaniards replied saying “yes”, the highest figure in the world;  74% of Russians said “no”- the lowest figure in the world.

The data suggested by this study corresponds on a legislative level in both countries.  Since 2005, gay couples are permitted to marry in Spain on equal terms and with the same rights.  According to a report by the BBC about discrimination against sexual orientation, in Russia same-sex unions are not legislated nor does any law exist,

In addition, a law has recently been passed in Russia which sanctions those who spread the idea, amongst young people, of “non-traditional sexual orientations” or “the idea that traditional sexual orientations and non-traditional ones have the same place in society”.

This quote from Xavier Colás, El Mundo’s correspondent in Moscow, explains the way he interprets the law in Russia “Although the law has been formulated as a tool to keep the message of ‘gays’ far away from children, in practice, homosexuals are not able to organise functions nor public protests or are even able to utilize the media…”

Behind all of these surveys and laws, there are people and their own opinions.  At Meeting Halfway we wanted to produce a multifaceted survey with four points of view about this one matter.   Andrey Glushkó, who left Russia because of his sexual orientation;  Anastasiya Belickaya, who doesn’t believe homosexuals are homosexual by nature; the young political scientist Nina Ivanova, says that all young homosexuals in Russia have to hide their sexual preferences because they could be attacked by ‘hooligans’; and the El Mundo’s correspondent  in Moscow, Xavier Colás, who claims a mania exists in Russia of linking gay people with paedophilia which complicates the debate.

[crp]

Author

J. Ignacio Urquijo Sánchez (Spain)

Studies / Works: Journalism and International Relations

Speaks: Spanish, English and basic German

Europe is… a mix of amazing cultures, from Shakespeare to Cervantes, from the monastery of

Rila to the sunset in Roque Nublo.

Blog: www.ignaciourquijo.wordpress.com

Twitter: @nachourquijo

 Illustrations

Andreea Mironiuc (Romania)

Freelance illustrator, chocolate addict, full time dreamer.

Studies: Multimedia Design and Communication

Speaks: Romanian, English, Spanish

Europe is… where my heart is.

Portfolio: www.andreeamironiuc.com

FB: www.facebook.com/andreeaillustration

Translation

Cathy Moscardini (England)

Studies: Spanish and Chinese

Speaks: English, Spanish and Chinese

Europe is… for exploring!

Translation

Clare Jordan (England)

Studies: German and Spanish

Speaks: English, German and Spanish

Europe is… a fascinating continent rich in culture, with the foundations of incredible history and with the aspirations of a bright future.

Der Beitrag Four visions over one reality: homosexuality in Russia erschien zuerst auf MH English.

Globalisation, travelling and educational initiatives to promote European cohesion, such as Erasmus grants, and other types of related projects designed promote the internationalization of ideas and businesses, have resulted in the increase in the number of couples made up of different nationalities in the last few years.  However, not all these experiences of love are simply stories about two people.

Language, customs, traditions, family and discrimination are only some of the aspects which directly affect couples who come from  different parts of the world.  Although all relationships can go through moments of crisis, two things are obvious:  Communication and respect for the others’ tradition are fundamental for multicultural couples.

A year ago, Alessandra returned from her trip to Argentina.  It was the first time that she had visited South America and although she was travelling alone, she carried a suitcase full of expectations since she would be spending her first Christmas in the Austral summer in the Argentinean city of Salta with her boyfriend Oscar´s family.

“We met at a birthday party for one of Oscar’s friends.  I went with a friend at the beginning of my Erasmus year.”    This is how the Italian recalls the story of the night in 2010 when she met her boyfriend.  3 years later, Alessandra and Óscar now live together in a town called San Pedro de Alcántara on the Spanish Costa Del Sol.

Living together has always been one of the strongest elements of the Italian-Argentinean relationship. “We think that Argentinean culture is really similar to Italian culture and because of this, we have changed very little, for example the way in which we communicate”.

As much at home as when in public, they speak in Spanish.  “It’s Óscar’s native language and the official language of the country we live in, and so it’s part of everyday life,” Alessandra states whilst also revealing that they also speak some Italian since Óscar has picked it up in the past few years.

Gaby and Daniel

Relationship issues

Stopping the usage of words such as “carro” for “car” and “coleto” for “mop” are only some of the examples of how Gabriela’s native Venezuelan vocabulary has changed as a result of living in Spain with her boyfriend, Daniel.  Since they met six years ago, the Venezuelan has always felt at home.  “Everywhere, there are people who help you and give you advice and I appreciate this, above all and firstly: my boyfriend’s family, at work and in day to day life” says Gaby.

When I ask Daniel about the day when he first met the Venezuelan, he remembers everything. “We met through our cousins; when I arrived in Malaga 6 years ago, my cousin and her cousin were a couple.  My brother and I spent some time living with them and one day, her cousin organized a barbeque and it was there that we met,” he remembers.

With regards to the Venezuelan-Spanish couple’s lifestyle in Spain, their daily schedule and routines have changed dramatically.  It is no myth that in Spain, they  have lunch, dinner and sleep much later than the rest of the world.  Gaby, for example, used to have dinner two hours earlier in Venezuela and used to go to bed at around 9:30pm whereas nowadays she prefers to go to bed after 11pm.

According to the figures which were published in the digital statistics newsletter “Women in Figures” , edited by the Women’s Institute in February of this year; between 1996 and 2011,  there were 386,133 weddings in Spain whereby at least one person in each couple was foreign.  It also shows that  303, 704 of these marriages; one of the couple was of a foreign nationality and the other was Spanish. That’s to say, 78.66% of the time, a Spaniard marries a foreigner. During the same period, 82,409 marriages were between couples who shared different nationalities.

Alessandra and Óscar

Without documents

However, these figures don’t reflect the problems which arise as result of xenophobia or racism which multicultural couple can suffer from.  “At the beginning of our relationship Óscar suffered discrimination in Spain  and by not having the correct papers it was difficult to survive without being able to work”.

In fact, many immigrants with partners must  go through this difficult situation where on several occasions they will be forced to accept jobs with lower salaries than their European colleagues, do more hours or simply not benefit from the working advantages like the rest of the staff.

“The situation improved when we became “domestic partners” states Oscar.  A declaration of the Spanish Supreme Court allows couples and domestic partners to solicit authorization of residency as a family member of a community citizen since the 3rd of November 2010, and for this reason, the Italian-Argentinean couple didn’t think twice.

The solution to their problem meant that Óscar went through a bureaucratic process to become a citizen with equal rights in the European Union.  This allowed him to do as Alessandra had done at Christmas, and travel to Italy to meet his political family.

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Autor

Ruth de Frutos (Spain)

Studies / Works: Journalism – PhD in the Unversity of Málaga

Speaks: Spanish, Italian, English, some Portuguese

Europe is…. From my point of view, Europe is a huge neighborhood where different people reside on each floor or block and need to be understood.

Twitter: @ruthdefrutos

Translation

Fiona Bingham (Scotland)

Studies / Works: Translation & Interpretation of French & Spanish but currently working as an English Teacher in Spain.

Speaks: English, Spanish, French

Europe is… all about travelling and exploring new cultures!

Translation

Clare Jordan (England)

Studies: German and Spanish

Speaks: English, German and Spanish

Europe is… a fascinating continent rich in culture, with the foundations of incredible history and with the aspirations of a bright future.

Der Beitrag Is there a culture clash between couples of mixed nationalities? erschien zuerst auf MH English.

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 Illustrations

Andreea Mironiuc (Romania)

Freelance illustrator, chocolate addict, full time dreamer.

Studies: Multimedia Design and Communication

Speaks: Romanian, English, Spanish

Europe is… where my heart is.

Portfolio: www.andreeamironiuc.com

FB: www.facebook.com/andreeaillustration

Der Beitrag I like my men… erschien zuerst auf MH English.